Wow, a fruity fruity fruity title bar. Mmm!

This May 14th commemorates yet another Mother's day. What'd my family do? Eat. Eat. Eat. BURP.

Oh boy I've got 16 years, 2 dead feeder goldfish, and a couple significant things behind me, but who cares?
This May 14th marks 4 months that Cameron can say, "Hello this is me breaking in my dress shoes in Safeway with my little shopping bag toting girlfriend Angie!"

Psst. Your shoes are actually pretty spiffy, but it's kinda fun just watching you pull off the casual khakies and dress shoes look, Professor Cameron.

Well anyone else, that bout of curiousity probably didn't kill you huh?

A little late, but hopefully still loved:
Shmeghan, no I'll take this occasion to call you by your you know normal name, Meghan. There's nothing for me to hide from anyone, anythingYo I sayyou rock isMeghanfor you ? to see obviously.cause she's a babe.

I don't know why Meghan didn't get a secret message!!! It's not because I didn't think of you, but that I had forgotten that you have been re-immersed into the INTERNET.

What are you talking about? I've got priorities!!

• Having lots of friends with cars, lots of hair, and or hot tubs.
  
• Having a boyfriend that is boy and friend and mmm!
• A clean legal record.
• Internet IQ of 143
• Higher skin surface area : acne coup d'etat
• Attain an incredibly high amount of sexual appeal
• Building homes with coffers for the gold brick income

So, I'm far from being depressed...and well, I don't think you want to hear what my head is filling up with. Gurgle gurgle...

Jeff: Thanks for the girl guide cookies and a wacky game of Tetris!

Joce: "Someday you'll be my love slave...it's kinda like a love song." Huh? Yeah I don't know either, but this little space is dedicated to you and Toby.

Jess: Wow, a bestfriend to boot! I'm lucky. Thanks Jess...hehe, I hope you didn't take it the wrong way and thought I literally meant "...to boot." :P~

Cam: Hehe, noogie, noogie! You really know how to get to a girl. In the good way of course!

Yeah, that's independant thinking Ang, "Are you going out with anyone?"
Yes anonymous Yahoo Gin player [my other home] I am going out with a great guy. I'm wishing right now as he checks my profile that he's actually the guy in question incognito trying to deviously uncover my feelings about him.

Ah I see, so less cling and more faith huh?
You scratch my back I scratch yours? The theory would work, if both people wanted their backs scratched. Communication made me tell him that there was a moment last weekend--a very brief, but slightly disturbing moment--where I looked at him and felt like-- I was horny [screech]
Aside: cared too much. There's been other boys [2], but none like him. None that I liked so much as I like him.

so silly. . .
I reply: You know, I was unhappy, and I guess it was obvious by my pouting. I probably should have chalked it up as a bad day. [But you ask me to tell you if there is more.] Rhetorical? Um, don't worry if there was I didn't see it as anything major. [But you're getting tired, and you're going to go to sleep soon.] I take too long. [You're tired,] and I'm unsure. Goodnight.

To me it sounds like : I could care more about you by acting like I care less about you. I could be more confident about myself, and not want so much attention. Obligated is such an ugly word. That he didn't get what he wanted because he was too busy giving me what I want. I'm not sure what makes my boy click. It's encoded somewhere on that Y chromosome he has.

Whoa, I've never been the one who had to cool my jets. This reverse in roles is one quite unsettling and almost a good jab to the pride, but I do care enough to do what'll make it work. I get it. Obligated is bad, and you show that you care when you will, not at my beckoning, and I've got to know that the greater the time lapse between hugs etc. isn't directly related to or a reflection of the amount of growing dislike.

It's like hiding chocolates, and you know exactly where they are. I resist the urge to call him. Or atleast cut it down to 3 calls a ... day [stifles pathetic laugh].

Embarrassed, maybe. Afraid of what he would think or what he would say. He's not one of those people who responds well when I tell him how I feel or when I ask how he feels.

After the fact, I still scroll up again [through my saved emails] to read the part where he says he really cares about me.

I almost find it reassuring.

too often taken for bitterness
PAST: It wasn't that I hate him [ex boyfriend:gary], really, it was just all the little bits of disgust and annoyance that had accumulated over time suddenly coming together all at once and taking over my brain briefly.

Jess, thank you. You're one heck of a bestfriend, and I'm glad that I'm on your good side. Thanks for signing my guestbook!! [Jocelyn, you rock too!] Remember that you're due for one humongazoid party, and I'll be there to help ya kickit off right! Hey, and don't hog all the cute anime guys neh? ^_^

"I'm growing up." 17++ figure that program out.

"I hope you become wealthy and personally fulfilled in the slightly more distant future..." Whomp. Wow, wealthy material-wise? Oh my. I guess I better have that go get 'em attitude huh?

Maybe. . .

• I'm not growing up so much as things around me are starting to get bigger.

• Witnessing everything from a 5'2" vantage point makes everything seem a little bigger, a little more significant, and a little less me.

Archived: April 27 - May 7